Sweden 2010, Day 19

Sunday. Another long long drive, from Torsby to Hammerdal. Three band members have to be back at work or school tomorrow, so we have no more leisure time. This will be our last day together as a band until I return for the next tour.

After 7 hours on the road, we dropped Tobias off in Östersund and arrived back in Hammerdal late in the afternoon. We were all pretty beat up and tired from the crazy pace of the last few days. We unloaded all the gear at the rehearsal space, then drove to Timo’s mom’s house. I said a little teary goodbye to my darling Henrik, but Jocke left before I could get hold of him for a hug. He’s a little “bah-humbug” about that sort of thing anyway. I hope I get to see him again before I leave Monday evening.

Timo’s mom Deanne and her husband Bertil are putting me up for the night. Deanne is such a sweetheart and very protective of her family. Bertil is a man’s man… hunts moose, has big guns, and drinks really good scotch. We shared a few and talked for a bit; his English is very good. Deanne struggles a bit, but speaks far better than she thinks she does. Being around her, I can see why Timo is the person he is; his mother is a woman of sublime beauty, great depth, and strong character.

They are warm and wonderful hosts. I do not have a single stitch of clean clothing left, so I am doing some laundry and surfing the net in the warmth and comfort of their lovely home. Deanne has loaded up my flash drive with a ton of pics, so when I get home I will wade through them and dole them out.

As I write this now, it is the morning of day 20. This evening I will fly to Stockholm, stay at a hotel arranged by my friend Klas, and leave for home Tuesday morning. I hate this part of the trip, when the work is done, the tour is over, and I have to go. But I miss my friends back home, and my work, and my cats, and the sensible part of me will be happy to come home… however, the “heartest” part will stay here in Hammerdal.

I have some things I want to say to my band.

Jocke: You are the “newest” member of the band for me. Last year, you really didn’t say much; I thought maybe you didn’t like me. Now I know better. You just took some time to get to know me. I really appreciate your steady presence, kindness, and sharp sense of humor. I am also blown away by your rock solid drumming (and rock solid abs… remind me to never again take you up on your offer for me to punch you in the stomach as hard as I can. My wrist still hurts.). Your intelligence elevates this band from its tendency to want to indulge in potty humor 24/7. Thank you and I love you.

PS. Speaking of potty humor, please dig the dead animal out of your butt.

Henrik: If there is a God, he made you, and broke the mold in terror that there would ever be another like you. Sometimes the crazy things you do make me think you are not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you are without a doubt the sweetest cookie in the jar… just a truly beautiful human being in every possible way. I know your struggles, and I can tell you, all will be overcome in time. As a bassist you get better and better every time I see you, and your English has come along to the point where it takes you no effort to almost make me pee with laughter. A big change from the first tour, when your vocabulary was limited to “Don’t understand.” Any time I need you, you are always there to remind me not to take life too seriously, just by being YOU. Thank you and I love you.

PS. Zip your jeans, dude.

Tobias: My hug machine!! I am a person who wilts without affection, and you are always there to give me a hug when I need one. We bonded from the very first tour when I got really sick, and you were the one wringing your hands with worry and taking such good care of me. My friend, you have a pure and open heart. I will always treasure our deep conversations, and the extra something special your presence always brings when we go on tour. Watching you play on stage, I could see your passion for the music re-ignite and take flame, and hope that you will always feel that way about what we do as a band. As a friend you have never once let me down or disappointed me. Your mother has raised an incredible son. Thank you and I love you.

PS. Get your hand out of your pants.

Johan: You are what we call an “old soul.” I think you were maybe born an adult. You are the youngest in the band but by far the most grown-up. It is you I always rely on when sense needs to be made of something difficult and complicated. You seem to always have the solution to whatever challenge presents itself. When things in this band feel like being caught in a hurricane, I look at you and see the calm in the eye of the storm. Your insight and wisdom go far beyond your age; I still think you are a natural-born teacher. Your guitar skills are approaching legendary status; keep doing whatever it is you are doing and you will be right up there with your idols in no time. As a lyricist, you have excellent ideas and it is my pleasure to collaborate with you and fine-tune your work; it melds so well with mine. Between the two of us, we create the theme for Lapis Lazuli, and I believe each collection of songs will surpass the last. You are a wonderful friend and collaborator. Thank you and I love you.

PS. Take a shower. Acid may be required to remove the smell from your pits.

Timo: Where to begin…. These years since you first contacted me have been the most musically fulfilling of my life. People thought I was crazy to get involved with a band thousands of miles away, populated by unproven kids, but I heard, and still hear, something so incredibly special in your compositions. You inhabit a realm above the rest of us, set aside for true creative geniuses. We butt heads sometimes, but this is a GOOD thing… it is how we continually challenge ourselves to get better and take our music to the next level, both creatively and commercially. Your music deserves to be heard and loved by a global audience. Keep writing it, and we will keep “selling” it. I know you don’t care about all of that, but we do, because your music really is that good. It feels incredible to get on stage with you, to sing these songs, to feel the power of the music you created and the lyrics Johan and I put to it. Audiences love it too. You know this. And sweetheart… no one else in the world except maybe your mom could love you as much as I do. All the things I ever wanted to express in my voice are embodied by you and the music you compose. And I know a secret… you love me just as much, Mr. Tough Guy. I hope we keep making music together until I am too old to limp onto a stage, and that you will always be the friend and brother you are to me now. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and I love you.

PS. Burn the shoes. The stench is just too mighty. Do it now before they run away and hatch an evil plot to take over the world.

Me: Guys, I love the person I am around you. At home, I can get into a pretty rigid and stressed out routine of trying to eke out a meager living as a music teacher, bookkeeper, and performer. When I am with you, the part of me that is random and wild and young can emerge, and I can simply take in the experience, like a child on their first trip to Disneyland. On tour with you, it seems the normal rules of life do not apply, time sort of starts and stops on our demand, and each moment is a mountain of almost overwhelming sensation and emotion. Together we are truly a BAND. I love being part of this tribe. Like Vikings of old, let’s go “rape and pillage” with our music until we are revered by all! Ahem. OK, so maybe I am getting a bit carried away here… but you all know what I mean. Thank you for choosing me to be your voice. Thank you and I love you!!!